Saturday, August 1, 2009 0 comments

Malays = Memalukan = Musnah

Today as most or perhaps all of us aware there’s chaotic situation in KL city centre following a demonstration by people who strongly believe that they are fighting for people’s right or whatever their beliefs are.

But to me, there’s only one thing they are representing i.e. kemusnahan.

Today I was among those victims caught in your stupid act. Today you made me paid nearly double the taxi fare I used to pay to go to city centre just because of the unexpected bad traffic jam. Today you made me took Putra LRT from Ampang Park to Dang Wangi and then walked from Dang Wangi to Sime Darby just to take the Star LRT to meet my brother at Chan Sow Lin as both Putra and Star LRT did not stop at two stations – Masjid Jamek and Bandaraya. Today you made me passed families with kids/babies and strollers walking for unnecessary distance just to avoid the chaostic, just to take the train from those unaffected stations. Today you made me watched old folks looking exhausted which I believed due to the chaostic you have caused. Today you made watched students discussion best way to go home as their normal routes could not be used. Today you made me cursed you because all the unnecessary trouble you have caused to many innocent people like myself.

Don’t blame the police for doing what they did to you as I would do the same. After all, people whose hands are dirty with ‘people’s blood’ and heart black with hatred are deserve to be treated like that. PErhaps not ISA for you, but Alcatraz.

I may not understand what you are fighting for as politics is not my turf, but one thing I know I am a registered voter, played my role as a voter, thus a true Malaysian. And because of that, I have the right to say this: I pray one day Malaysia will be ruled by a non-Malay because on that day I can cheer as loud as I can to you to say this:

“Padan muka kamu semua!! Inilah hasil dan bukti kebodohan dan kedaifan kamu semua. Bergaduh sesama sendiri hanya kerana merebut kuasa yang tidak boleh dibawa ke dalam kubur. Konon demi rakyat, tapi sebenarnya kerana kuasa. Dengan bertopengkan kata-kata yang kononnya begitu berkaliber, begitu berjiwa rakyat, begitu mahukan keadilan, kamu berjaya memporak-perandakan Negara sendiri dan meruntuhkan moral kaum sendiri. Dengan sumpah, maki-hamun orang ramai yang menjadi mangsa sifat dengki, pentingkan diri dan singkat pemikiran kamu itu, sesungguhnya perjuangan kamu hanya akan memakan diri dan memalukan bangsa sendiri. Sebagai Melayu, aku sudah lama tidak berbangga dengan orang yang mendabik dada mengatakan berjuang demi agama, bangsa dan Negara kerana sehingga kini tidak seorang pun dari kamu berjaya membuatkan aku memandang tinggi terhadap kamu sebagaimana rasa kagum dan hormat yang aku rasakan pada bangsa Melayu yang berjuang memerdekakan Negara. Melayu sekarang hanya tahu melaungkan suara, menuding jari, menghasut sana-sini tapi sedikit pun tidak membangunkan diri. Musnahlah kamu Melayu, musnahlah secepat mungkin kerana aku, seorang Melayu yang sudah muak melihat Melayu seperti kamu di muka bumi Malaysia ini.”
Tuesday, July 28, 2009 0 comments

Rise of the 3S women By Cao Xiaofan
The STAR, Sunday 14 December 2008

- an good article I've been wanting to share with single ladies out there. Not sure about you, but indeed it suit nearly perfect to my current life affair.

BEIJING: Guo Xiao, a 34-year-old single woman working as a mid-level manager in a Beijing branch of a foreign bank, is philosophical about turning down dates.

Having passed the “best marriageable age” for city women, conventionally recognised as between 25 and 30 years old, Guo refuses to rush into marriage. “Marrying ‘Mr Wrong’ is even worse than being single,” she says.

Unwed women such as Guo are labelled in China today as “3S women”– single, 70s, and stuck. They were generally born in the 1970s, are well educated and have decent jobs.

In her early 20s, Guo was an accountant in a bank in Jiangsu province, focusing her whole time and energy on her career. “I barely stopped to see a movie, let alone get involved in a relationship,” says Guo.

Many women put relationships on the backburner while they develop their careers.

Sociologist Xu Anqi, of the Shanghai Academy of Social Sciences, notices that against the backdrop of China’s progressing urbanisation, the growing single population is the result of more time spent on education and career.

Guo was a workaholic before one day, when she was 26, she fell head over heels in love with a middle-aged photographer.

“Talented, smart and wild – he had everything I admired,” Guo recalls.

The two-year romance ended in tears. “He couldn’t promise me marriage and had no intention of settling down,” says Guo. “I met the wrong person at the right time.”

To get over the heartbreak, Guo went to Australia to pursue her studies. When she earned her master’s degree on financial management from Sydney University in 2003, Guo returned to China and secured a position as a senior accountant in a British industrial designing company in Beijing.

Guo’s parents started to nag her about marriage and even resorted to matchmakers. But their efforts were in vain. “I wouldn’t compromise by marrying a guy I didn’t like,” she says.

The number of single women like Guo, who are well educated and in well-paid jobs, is on the rise. A nationwide survey conducted by Shanghai Municipal Statistics Bureau in 2007 suggested that more than 60% of the 500,000 single people aged 30 to 50 in Beijing are women. In Guangzhou, the proportion is 70%.

Many of Guo’s friends of her age are also unmarried career women.

Stressful work, an increasing divorce rate – there are many reasons leading career women to live on their own,” she says.

On top of that, Chinese men are reluctant to marry more mature women.

A survey conducted by Beijing Normal Uni­versity in 2006 showed about 65% of male respondents believed 25-year-old women were desirable for marriage, while only 12.5% said they could accept women over the age of 35 as wives. As a result, a huge number of that age group – many are “S3 women” – remain single.

Recently, the degrading term of “sheng nu”, which literally means “leftover women”, has been created to refer to the “3S women” as though there were something morally wrong with them.

We’re not that passive,” says Guo. “I admit being a single woman comes with its challenges, but it also offers an opportunity to develop personally and do things outside of the shackles of a relationship.”

Guo spends about three hours a week practising calligraphy. She also enjoys whole Sunday afternoons at a beauty salon.

I am no different to everyone else, except that I don’t have to wash men’s dirty socks and baby diapers,” she says.

In the past, China had a saying for women: To marry is to live. However, better education and jobs are giving career women better financial status.

With a monthly salary of about 16,000 yuan and a 60 sq metre well-decorated downtown apartment, Guo’s financial circumstances are secure.

“Marriage is no longer a necessity for me compared with women of my parents’ generation, unless Mr Right appears,” says Guo.

“The influence of material factors on marriage is diminishing among today’s Chinese career women,” Xu Anqi says. “Society is more tolerant of independent women.” -
Sunday, July 26, 2009 3 comments

Babies in the 50s, 60s & early 70s

The article below was written by Patrick Teoh in his blog "Niamah!!".

To All those Born in the 50's , 60's & early '70s...
First, we survived with mothers who had no maids. They cooked /cleaned while taking care of us at the same time.
They took aspirin, candies floss ,fizzy drinks, shaved ice with syrups and diabetes were rare. Salt added to Pepsi or Coke was remedy for fever.
We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, doors or cabinets and when we rode our bikes, we had no helmets.
As children, we would ride with our parents on bicycles/ motorcycles for 2 or 3. Richer ones in cars with no seat belts or air bags.
Riding in the back of a private taxi was a special treat.
We drank water from the tap and NOT from a bottle.
We would spend hours on the fields under bright sunlight flying our kites, without worrying about the UV ray which never seem to affect us.
We go to jungle to catch spiders without worries of Aedes mosquitoes.
With mere 5 pebbles (stones) would be an endless game. With a ball (tennis ball best) we boys would ran like crazy for hours.
We catch guppy in drains / canals and when it rain we swim there.
We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle and NO ONE actually worry about being unhygienic.
We ate salty, very sweet & oily food, candies, bread and real butter and drank very sweet soft sweet coffee/ tea, ice kacang, but we weren't overweight because...... WE WERE ALWAYS OUTSIDE PLAYING!!
We would leave home in the morning and play all day, till streetlights came on.
No one was able to reach us all day. AND WE DONT HAVE HANDPHONES TO BUG US. And we were O.K. AND WE ARE SAFE.
We would spend hours repairing our old bicycles and wooden scooters out of scraps and then ride down the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes. After running into the bushes a few times, we learned to solve the problem.
We did not have Playstations, X-boxes, Nintendo's, multiple channels on cable TV, DVD movies, no surround sound, no phones, no personal computers, no Internet. WE HAD FRIENDS and we went outside and found them!
We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and we still continued the stunts.
We never had birthdays parties till we are 21.
We rode bikes or walked to a friend's house and just yelled for them!
The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law was unheard of. They actually sided with the law!
Yet this generation has produced some of the best risk-takers, problem solvers and inventors ever!
The past 40 years have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas.
We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned HOW TO DEAL WITH IT ALL!

I, among babies born in those years, had joyful childhood. No fear of playing outside, running freely on the road in our neighbourhood playing games such as ‘rounders’ and ‘tuju selipar’. Played ‘konda-kondi” next to the house, play ‘Pondok-Pondok” pretending leaves and ‘fried’ ground as food and having some acted as family members such as father, mother or playing congkak which was either hols dug o nthe ground next to or under the house or made from wood (we had one last time) without parents worrying about us getting sick.

Me and friends also played games such as Teng-Teng, Batu Seremban, Galah Panjang, tudung botol, riding on pelepah pinang and few more games which I couldn’t recall the names (these traditional games can be found in Warisan Budaya Malaysia website and )

Those days when I wanted to play dolls, I would make it from paper (even its clothes were from paper!). As for TV programs, only TV1 and TV2 were available, TV3 only first made available at our area when I was about 12 years old (if not mistaken). I first learnt to use computer when I was 13-years-old (end of 80s), reading books on the mango trees infront of the house were among my favourite moments, went up the roof by climbing rambutan trees were normal stuff for me – watching our neighbourhood or plucked rambutans that were not easily reachable (of course my mom scolded me whenever she discovered that I was on the roof as that's considered not a lady-like character), walking back from school which about 2km away from home (school located in town) but never diverted to somewhere else other than straight to home.

Riding bikes with friends, fell and bled my knee was something I had to endure myself and my mom didn’t even rushed me to clinic for further check up in case I broke a bone, but instead just asked me to put ointment on it. There were once I climbed a tree behind our old house before (when I was not yet 8 years old) and fell with my face up and my back hit something (can't remember whether it's a rock or a wood), but definitely something hard. Though it hurt so much, I quietly went into the house not telling my parents what had happened as firstly I surely will be scolded for climbing the tree before they checked if I had badly hurt myself. However, no doubt that's a lesson to me not to do it again (or be extra careful next time not to step on fragile branch - climbing trees was a norm to me). Guess an angel was there looking after me as I am fine till today, alhamdulillah.

Even parents nowadays have all the facilities they wish for to give to their children and do their best (sometimes to the extreme) to be good parents, I believe they are having much bigger challenge in raising their kids compared to parents those years.

Despite technology limitation and far from today's modern life, kids those days were blessed to know the real meaning of childhood – I know I am.

Saturday, July 11, 2009 3 comments


Florence loved boxes. She would try her best to fit into a box, though smaller than her :)

Whenever I sat on the sofa watching tv, she would also sat next to me waited patiently until late night, and even she's sleepy she quickly opened her eyes when I turned to her.

Always tried her best to fit her body on the chair..

She liked to lie on the bed just like all of us, human.. Placing her head on the pillow..

I adopted her from an Australian family 14 years ago. She was 3 years old then. They put her up for adoption because they're going back to Australia. She's a local cat, short hair. I was staying with my sister, Andak and her family at that time. It took her a year to accept us as her new family. From the first day we brought her home, she moved in the house avoiding us as much as she can, sneaked here and there to ensure we were no where near her.

Tried to change her name - well 'Florence' is not a common cat's name for us in Malaysia. But, she had her own mind and only responded to Florence. And she won :)

When I first stayed on my own (rented a room in a house), I didn't bring her along as there were other tenants in the house. Never thought she would reacted badly to my decision. She 'ran away' long after I moved out from sister's house, and I went to look for her immediately after my sister couldn't find her. She came back one day, while I was at my sister's house looking ofr her, skinny and looked like someone had locked her up (there's mark around her neck). Since then, both of us never separated.

She was my best friend forever (BFF). Always there for me, waited for me. She would push my arm slowly with her head if I didn't wake up in the morning despite the alarm screaming. Once I was off from the bed, she would take my place there, placed head on the pillow and watched me getting ready.

I called her Lady-of-Leisure as she won't lie down on floor unless it's covered, didn't be friend to cat (we used to say that perhaps she didn't think that she's a cat), always clean and never fell sick.

On that fateful weekend, I left her at home as I was a volunteer for a motivation week organised for few orphanage homes by my friend. I left home on that Friday, 18 March 2007 and came home on Sunday, 20th. My nephew, Joe looked after her that weekend. Of all the time, she chosed to fall sick for first time that weekend, when I wasn't around. She looked weak and reserved when I came home. My nephew said she vomited few times that weekend and was not so responsive when he called for her.

Sent sent her to clinic next day and was diagnosed with fever. That night noticed that her skin was yellowish, rushed her to clinic again next day and she was then diagnosed with jaundice. She was dripped. We immediately bought goat milk for her from a Malay family in Ulu Langat (though the clinic said it's not really a cure for jaundice, but no harm trying). However, the milk was so 'cair' and no effect after nearly a week. Perhap the seller cheated us. She didn't urinate since she fell sick and that made us more worried. My sister then bought another goat milk from an elderly Chinese lady in Setapak whom she used to buy before. After she was fed with that goat milk, she kept urinate and each time a lot - thick yellow urine. But by then she's also getting weaker, not moving most of the time, didn't eat her biscuit (we had to manually fed her with wet food instead) and hardly drink. Her movement was extremely slow. She was under my sister care since the day she fell sick, as I was working. My daily routine was rushed to my sister house after office, went home only late night or before Subuh.

As her condition deteriorated (she urinate wherever she was, not at her 'toilet' - it's like she didn't realise that she urinate), I had no send to a nearby vet for further care - blood test, ultra-sound etc. Her medical report showed that her jaundice was improving, red blood cell also improving but there's stone in her kidney. Due to her weak condition, they couldn't operate her to take the stone out. We visited her daily.

On Friday, 6 April 2007 we received call that our grandfather was seriously ill and warded. We visited Florence at the vet before we left for kampung. That night we slept at kampung and came back to KL on Sunday, 8 April. Before we reached the vet, I saw a stall selling rattans and stopped to buy a 'baby-crib' for Florence. When we reached the vet, she greeted us - her voice so weak and we were so touched that she recognised us still. We were advised that yesterday not long after we left her, they lost her. She was found lying on her side, not moving and no heart beat. Thank God they managed to bring her back (or else I didn't know how I would have reacted). I was so angry because they didn't call us when it happened and discharged her immediately, despite the vet protest. I rather she's with me, her family, if that happened again. We placed her in the crib, brought her back to my sister's house, fed her and then she took a nap.

After 2 hours she woke up, time to feed her again before she took her medicine. And that was when she took her last breath. She was in her crib during her last 3 breaths - exactly like us, human (never in my life I witness such moment, not even when my father passed away in August 2006). That was the most heart-breaking moment for me. At that moment, I lost my best friend, my baby, my housemate. Felt like half of me gone, a big hole was left in my heart, my life felt so empty. My brother-in-law quietly went to the back of the block and made preparation for the burial. My sister followed suit, and I was left alone with her to say my goodbye. Not until I was ready to let her go, she was placed in her 'persemadian' forever before Maghrib. We planted a jackfruit tree on her grave, as her tombstone. She was 12 years old, and had been with me for 9 years. We used to say that she was little sister to my niece, Esha and big sister to Qis because when we adopted her - she was 3 years old whereas Esha was 4 and Qis was 2.

During the burial, my sister's neighbour came to bury their baby boy's 'uri', born that afternoon. There's a saying that every soul that left us, a new one is born. Perhaps it's true, even for Florence.

Until this very moment, I still shed tears whenever her memory cross my mind.

Florence, Tam love you so much and will always miss you.

P.S. My grandfather passed away on 28 April 2007, 3 weeks after we buried Florence.
Sunday, April 12, 2009 3 comments

Shoes @ 13 April 2009

My simple pump found at BATA in 2008 which supposed to be my walking shoes during office hours. But I'm used to wear high heels, thus at the end it became my 2nd 'slippers' at home and now it's my 'slippers' at my new office :)

My Bali slippers. Got it in Kuta, Bali for about RM6. Since then it travels with me almost every where.

Andak gave to me yesterday, 11/4/09 to wear in the house. She bought it for RM6. It brought old memories.

Viss, JJ Balakong, end 2008/Jan09, about RM25 (sweet, isn't it?). Thought I needed a proper covered shoes to wear with certain office clothes :)

New sport shoes for trekking at FRIM/exercise (RM40). Accompanied Maria to look for new sport shoes at Mines Shopping Mall on 29/3/09. Hmm I thought I needed a pair myself.. hehe.

Thought of having a casual snickers for me to wear with jeans. Viss, JJ Balakong, end of 2008, RM25.

My 1st Crocodile shoes, last pair, got it from Jaya Jusco, Balakong for RM49.90. Was looking for comfortable and not too high black shoes for my day-to-day use on working days (such a lame excuse, isn't it?). But indeed it is very comfortable.

Andak gave to me somewhere in 2008 after I started work again as she seldom wear it (I never wear it till today as never found suitable time/clothes for it).

My ballerina shoes found at Viss, Jaya Jusco Balakong in end 2008. Last pair, about RM17.

Marie Claire, BATA Ampang Point in June 2007 while window shopping with Nur & Maria after attending Ellysa's wedding at Kelab Darul Ehsan, Ampang Jaya.

Found it during my first trip to Jakarta/Bandung in July 2004. Stopped for lunch at a Sundanese Restaurant in Puncak on our way to Bandung (me, Zura, Nik, Nisa, Wati, Dollah, Agus and Wahyu). Went cuci mata at a souveneir shop next to it while waiting for the food and found this, about RM30. Zura & Wati each bought a pair, different design.

Me and Co'ot met Ija and Zila at Madam Kwan, KLCC for lunch in April 2008. A treat by Zila to Penganggur Terhormat (me & Co'ot). My shoes terputus after that, thus went to Isetan to get a simple shoes - Twins, RM29.

My Princess-D shoes from Bally factory outlet in Greenwich, GBP5.00, June/July 1997. Made the trip with Heng before came back to Malaysia (one that I still keep till today). Too bad as a student I had limited extras to spend, or else God knows how many I would have bought :)

Got this from Ravel in Kingston (1997) for GBP5.00. Still keep till today and sometimes wear it. Love the design and have sentimental value.

Viss, Jaya Jusco Balakong, between Oct 200 to Jan 2009. Thought I needed a nice presentable slips-on other than my 'good old' Bali slippers :)

Areen bought for me to match a tailor-made dress she prepared for me as her bridesmaid on her BIG day in May 2005.

Gift from Andak for my 35th birthday in Feb 2009.

Went around Midvalley with Doreen on 23/8/08, she's looking for shoes. Stopped at Primavera and somehow I decided that I also need shoes for my new job.. :) .. Paid total of RM87.20 for both.

My latest collection. Went to The Weld on 7/4/09 during lunch to heat up my body and this is what I got at Elle for RM29 during the rush hour. So adorable, so how can I say 'NO'... :)

My kasut raya 2008, RM19.50 after discount, from Marie Claire, BATA Mines Shopping Mall on 9/8/08. Bought it as it matched my baju raya !!

Met Doreen at Midvalley and this was what I got from Vincci by the end of our meeting, about RM25 after 50% discount.

Last pair at BATA, Alamanda (got it for about RM17). Went there with Maria on weekend.

My first Lewre shoes. Bought it (50% discount, RM65.70) while survey Isetan sale at Lot 10 during lunch time, 2008/09.

Grabbed it from Elle Midvalley while waiting for Maria (we met after work).

Got it from Metrojaya Midvalley in 1st quarter of 2009 while accompaned Maria buying track bottom.

My one and only shoes bought from Harrods, London in 1996/97 for not more than GBP20.00. A sentimental value for my memory with Harrods after I gaveaway my one and only MGM stretchable-jeans, which I also bought from there, to my sister after it 'stretched out' (that's what happened when you 'let' other people wear your stretchable clothes).

A Marie Claire shoes from BATA, Jaya Jusco Kelang (Aug 2008). Went to visit my friend there and we went window shopping. Bought it as a treat for my new job. I paid the most for it, RM132.30 after 30% discount. Unfortunately, the comfy it offers not worth the price.

Bought them at Parkson, Pavillion on 8Mar09 while accompanied Elly buying dinner clutch.

Found at Nose, Pavillion (2008/09) while accompanied Areen looking for shoes (she bought 2 pairs).

Shoes are one of my passions. Despite always in a tight budget, a pair of new shoes never fail to brighten my day. There was once in 2005 a colleague of mine asked me to count my handbags and shoes (never did that before), so I did. And to my surprise, I had 33 handbags and 33 shoes !! (of course each not meant for the other. Just a coincidence. And that excluded sport shoes & slippers). Gosh! If I had kept all, perhaps by now I have a room just for shoes - which always is my dream. After all, there's always reason to buy a new one.. And sometimes, no reason is needed at all :)
Tuesday, April 7, 2009 4 comments


'Abah' a name I no longer call except when reminisce the memory. Abah is no longer with us, physically, since 26 August 2006 at the age of 69 (just like Keluarga 69, one of P.Ramlee's movies - he's a fan even during the period he no longer could speak and see). There he is 'at home' surrounded by his ancestors who he grew up with and loved him dearly, and whom he never tired of telling us stories about them. There is where I go and visit Abah, but sadly, not as often as I would love to. To prove that, that's the last time I visited him - pagi Aidifitri pertama tahun 2008 selepas sembahyang raya. I'm not proud to admit this, but that's the truth.

Coming from a big simple family, we are not open for matters involving emotions/feeling or in other word we don't express our love to each other in words. We learnt to be independent and how to live in this world through our day to day activities. Also learn to determine what is good and what is not from younger days.

From him I learnt about people, to be specific about some typical Malay characters. His best friends were none Malays but Chinese and Singh (they also no longer here with us). Malays judged him by wealth (and whatever comes with it) and how often he was seen at the mosque (funny that some people assumed they are so 'beragama/alim and a good muslim' just because they perform prayers, go to mosque, perform umrah/haj etc till they have the right to judge other people's faith). He was not perfect, of course, but so does all of us. But he always there for his friends be it good times or bad, and so did they. He always brought stuff for us, his children, whenever he could. Seldom I heard him said, "Maaf, tak boleh tolong" whenever someone asked for help, but instead always "Boleh" - even though obviously impossible.

He didn't question me about my report cards (never was an issue for me to ask him to sign it even there're red marks). Another lesson that I learnt from him is believe in yourself and never bother about what people say about you. Life goes on and true friendship lasts forever, just like the phrase 'till death do us part'.

Despite we were not closed as how father-daughter relationship I always saw in TV, I do cry (most of the time) whenever I look at this photo or when I play a memory of him in my mind. As far as I can remember I never said "I love you" in whatever ways, in whatever language to him, but what I know for sure he was proud of me. Sad to realise that the one person who taught me important lessons of life was no longer here to hear me say "Terima kasih abah atas segalanya. Saya sayang abah". But I have no regret about that and I shall never will because deep down in my heart I know he knew that.
Thursday, April 2, 2009 0 comments

FRIM, Kepong - Saturday 8am 28-03-2009

Gosh! It's been more than a month haven't been to FRIM. Though it's quite a distance to go there, but the air surrounds it and the peaceful feeling it offers make the journey worth a million. Quite a struggle to complete climbing the hill, with additional burden of kampung fried rice and teh tarik - eagerness to picnic at the waterfall. So afraid to stop even for a breath or a drop of water, in case the body take control of the mind. Finally, the task completed and most important within an hour - at least that's a comfort.

The effort, the sweats, the additional burden, the sore muscles, the heavy breathing are all gone the moment I saw the spot we are heading for our picnic. Gone all the tiredness trekking up the hill, gone all the tiredness spending more than 8 hours a day working Monday to Friday the moment I lay my eyes on this serenity. A promise is made that this will not be the last (also an excuse for me to buy a pair of new shoes the very next day!!).